Why do women tend to “go after the guys”? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity. An insecure woman has her world centered on something (marriage) or someone (Mr. Right) that can be lost or taken away. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.
“Insecurity among women is epidemic, but it is not incurable. Don’t expect it to go away quietly, however. We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us,” says Beth Moore, and I agree.
The father of lies (see John 8:44) screams lies at our hearts daily. We can only scream back if our hearts are wallpapered with the truth (see John 8:32). We, as well as our girls, need to learn how to scream at the liar! It may seem a contradiction of a Lady in Waiting to be screaming, but there are times when we need to.
Truth #1— Do Not Label Yourself Negatively
Self-condemnation leaves no room for loving others.
If you’re hard on yourself, you’re hard on others.
…Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39).
Truth #2—Behave Assertively, With God-Confidence
God-confidence is the opposite of arrogance and pride.
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love
and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV).
Truth #3—When You Fail, Confess and Refuse to Condemn Yourself
If you fail, it only means you still have a pulse.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins…(1 John 1:9 NIV).
There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1 NIV).
Truth #4—Do Not Compare Yourself with Others
Comparisons are demoralizing.
You are unique, one of a kind; therefore you are incomparable.
…When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12 NIV).
Truth #5—Concentrate on God’s Grace
A definition of grace: for one to bow down in order to benefit another/others greatly.
Grace is strength allotted to me to behave myself.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1 NIV).
Truth #6—Associate with Positive People
As we associate, we become.
Your closest friend is a mirror of the future you!
He who walks with the wise grows wise… (Proverbs 13:20 NIV).
Truth #7—Learn How to Rejoice in All Things
The key facet of emotional health is the ability to be thankful and grateful.
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV).
Truth #8—Have Realistic Expectations of Yourself and Others
Remember, on your best day…you are still “but dust” (see Ps. 103:13-14).
The source of so much grief: unrealistic expectations (see Ps. 39:7).
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment… (Romans 12:3 NIV).
Truth #9—Growth and Change Are a Process and Are Never Instantaneous
God is the Agent of Change (see John 17:17).
The start is the promise of the finish (see Phil. 1:6; 1 Thess. 5:24).
In God’s corrections, He never stops believing in us!
For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12).
Truth #10—Do What Is Right and Pleasing to Jesus
Pleasing Jesus is not the same as pleasing people (see Matt. 6:1).
How do you discern the difference between people pleasing and “Papa pleasing?” (See Hebrews 4:12-13.)
If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10 NIV).
Truth #11—Be Positive
Consider fasting from critical remarks.
See how long you can go without saying something negative.
Pray for a mouth filter:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8 NIV).
Turn to your heavenly Father now. Pour out to Him your heart’s longing to be loved. See His arms open wide and His empty lap ready to embrace and hold you near. He considers you dear. He longs to give you satisfying love. Perhaps He does desire to give you a man to love also.
But the man you marry cannot meet your need for security. Only God’s love brings security.