When Jessi was in college, she and I had several opportunities to serve together at several Mother-Daughter Conferences. Those were times I knew I would cherish forever. When she got married and went off to seminary with her husband, I said goodbye to that “Mother-Daughter Tag Team.” Well, several months ago, Jessi asked me if I would be willing to do a women’s conference for the women at her church. As the co-pastor’s wife, Jessi is in charge of this particular event. I was thrilled to be asked and shouted YES! Besides the privilege of encouraging the women she serves, I also get the privilege of serving with my daughter. Jessi will do the music and I will teach. Now all this seems simple until I started thinking about the conservative group of women that Jessi ministers to–and I suddenly was anxious about giving the women a heart attack! Even Jessi’s husband warned her that she needed to be prepared that some of the women might consider me a LITTLE OVER THE TOP!
As I pondered my son-in-laws remarks, my heart had a few more moments of self-doubt about this ministry opportunity. Then the Lord reminded me of how fearfully and wonderfully I have been made, the wild passionate woman that I am, and the one He saved on April 15, 1967. He didn’t save me to change my DNA but to borrow my body and make a difference for Him in this world. You would think after 47 years of serving Jesus, I wouldn’t need this reminder. You may be thinking-has Jackie lost some of her “holy courage?” Well, I am always the first person to admit to being a fellow-struggler and that I so desperately need Jesus 24/7. The Lord reminded me of a vulnerable moment in the life of one of the greatest prophets:
“He said to me, ‘You are my servant, Israel, and you will bring me glory.’ I replied, ‘But my work seems so useless? I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the LORD’S hand; I will trust God for my reward.'” – Isaiah 49:3,4 (NLT)
Have you had a moment of self-doubt recently? Have you wondered lately if your “holy sweat” for God has been a little in vain? Have you had a moment when a person’s comment made you doubt that you are a chosen instrument of the King? Well, you are in good company!