By the third month of this New Year, is it too soon to maybe pause for a brief evaluation of the first quarter of this year? When you think about this first quarter, has your prayer life been focused on your ‘personal maintenance or passionate mission?’ That question was presented by our pastor. As I was jotting the question down, Dr. Bernie Cueto began to share an example of the difference between a Christian whose life is about ‘personal maintenance’ and a Christian whose life is about ‘passionate mission.’ I smiled when pastor began to use Dog and Cat Theology to explain the difference. I smiled because twelve years ago, one of our pastor’s best friends was visiting us and he was so enthusiastic about this ‘Dog and Cat Theology’ that he had just been learning about in seminary! ‘Dog and Cat Theology’ is a great allegory about two categories of believers. Some believers are more like dogs and some believers are more like cats. David Murphy started the explanation with a question. “When the master returns home, who is the first to run for the door, if a cat and a dog lives in the house?” Usually it is the dog. With dogs–it is all about the Master; whereas with cats it is all about the cat (who serves the cat). I got so excited about this illustration. During the last 38 years of knowing Jesus, I have seen such a distinction among believers.

Some Christians believe they are saved to serve God (Dog: it is all about the Master); whereas many Christians believe they are saved so God can serve them (Cat: it is all about the cat). These God-given traits of cats (‘you exist to serve me’) and dogs (‘I exist to serve you’) are often similar to the theological attitudes we have in our view of God and our relationship to Him.

So has the first quarter of this New Year been more about ‘being a cat’ and waiting on the staff of heaven to serve you? Or has this first quarter been more about ‘being a dog’ and looking to bring pleasure to the Master? I don’t type this casually-I am concerned that too much of the first quarter of this year has been about my ‘personal maintenance’ rather than being passionately on mission.

(Disclaimer: For all cat lovers…this is an illustration…not an indictment against precious felines.)

I could probably count on my ten fingers, the times I have been so discouraged that I cried myself to sleep. Recently, I walked into my room at 7:20pm and set on the side of my bed and began to cry and then I laid my head on my pillow and passed totally out. When I woke up two hours later, I walked into the living room and Ken said, “Are you okay? I saw that you fell asleep and I wasn’t sure if I should wake you.” Then Ken said, “you need to read an email that was sent to you tonight”! Here is what was waiting for this discouraged warrior of the cross.

Jackie I met you years ago (1995 or 96) when I was a young woman in college speaking with Great Hills Retreat Ministry. I am now 42 and I have listened to countless sermons, testimonies, and speakers. You stand out in my mind though. It is amazing to me how I remember not only your words but your facial expression, your tone of voice, your passion, as you spoke. I can remember almost verbatim some of your words of encouragement and your words still push me to love and worship even when my circumstances cause me to “feel” like wallowing in my own disappointments. I just want you to know that your life, your pain, your faith, has made a difference in the lives of so many people that you never even meet because you were willing to be honest, confront the pain, and worship through it. You were willing to be transparent and vulnerable and therefore you are relevant and remembered. Even though these days I forget what I did yesterday, I remember YOU. I remember your message. I sought your website out tonight because my 15 year old daughter just told me she will be doing a Lady In Waiting group Bible Study soon. My heart smiles to see my daughter about to benefit from your teaching the same way I did so many years ago. Blessings to you and your family and ministry. Thanks for pouring your heart and life out for others and for HIM. If you ever wonder what your impact is, know that it is greater than you can imagine. Thank you, Jennifer

God used Jennifer’s encouraging letter to open my heart to receive a precious word from Papa God. ‘Jackie, you are an Emotional Mephibosheth (II Sam. 9) who has been crippled since childhood but I invited you to eat at the King’s table.’ As I pondered my emotional crippling, I realized that daily for the last 48 years, though an Emotional Mephibosheth, I have had the privilege of sitting at the King’s Table listening to His Words of Hope (Psalm 119:92 and Isaiah 50:4). I actually got so excited about the fact that God’s strength is on display in the lives of the weak-like an Emotional Mephibosheth!

We see exhausted, frazzled women everywhere we go, especially at this time of year. Why are we all so exhausted so often? You may think of a thousand reasons, but I am convinced that the most common reason that all women from all walks of life are stressed out, and worn out is their propensity to try to be the Head Chick in Charge. Trying to be in charge in an out-of-control world inevitably leads to exhaustion.

On a woman’s best day, the illusion of control has her in a trance. For a brief moment, she feels “large and in charge,” and life is good. Her “Junior God Badge” is on—the counterfeit badge that all of us own and none of us earned. Wearing this controlling badge is as natural for a woman as breathing.

The controlling woman strives daily to perfect God-like qualities in her life. They may seem impressive, but they are ultimately a vain attempt to tame the untamable and to avoid suffering. This Junior God Badge owner is a woman who is a “wannabe deity.”

The first woman who thought she was smarter than God was Eve. Eve exchanged dependence on the Creator of the Universe for independence and a life of un-tamable chaos and heartache. Way to go, Eve! The serpent deceived Eve into thinking that control was better than dependence: “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5).

The Mother of the human race, Eve, was the original owner of the Junior God Badge; and like a good mama, she bequeathed us a precious family heirloom that has now been passed down from generation to generation. We females are all little Evettes. The DNA of a woman’s anxiety and her need to control is something we arrive with when we take our first breath.

Eve ate the forbidden fruit because she wanted to be more like God, and we are still eating that fruit today. For every owner of a Junior God Badge, wanting to be like God is the foundation for living. Daily, our lives declare our dependence or independence.

For the dependent woman, God’s grace is available. For the independent woman, it’s a different story. Unfortunately, the independent Junior God Badge wearer thinks she is Wonder Woman and that she can soar beyond the reach of human disappointment and suffering. This means that the independent, controlling woman is often not a candidate for the grace of God. Why is this? Because God only gives grace to the humble (who have been knocked down by circumstances) and He resists (keeps at a distance) the proud (see James 4:5–6).

Are you a grace-resistant woman? Or have you experienced the privilege of having an unimaginable capacity to face the unimaginable?

When I try to explain what Ken and I do, it is often the work of a Pastor and Pastor’s wife but we don’t have the title. However, your faithful support has allowed us the privilege of such ministry since 1989.

Ken was just at the hospital praying with a man whose wife was in surgery for cancer and her parents thanked him for being there for the husband. Ken met with a young father who desperately needs encouragement to persevere in his marriage. Later in the day he is on the phone counseling a man who needs to repent of his selfishness and focus on his family who needs his attention. Then a widower who Ken has encouraged throughout his grief journey, comes to stay with us for encouragement on the one year anniversary of his wife’s relocation to heaven. Ken and I have always had a pastor’s heart; just without the title.

Whether it is late at night or early in the morning, Ken and I are shepherding people all over the U.S. and beyond. After a very full year of ministry to people all over, not just in conferences, but also personal time counseling and encouraging countless people whether on the phone, at Starbucks or homes, and hundreds of emails; I have now a new description of what Ken and I do daily: Shepard and Shepherdess at Large! Here is a glimpse of some of our shepherding privileges:

“My spiritual momma reminded me about Gen 41:52 this morning: “The second son he named Ephraim & said, “it is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.” She reminded me to open my Bible, even if only for five minutes in the bathroom, and pay attention to what I hear in the quiet spaces of my mourning.”

“Thank you for doing what God has called you to do. In a month we will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary and I think that we were getting to be complacent in our marriage. After hearing you speak this weekend at the Hill Country Bible Church Women’s retreat I knew that I had not been honoring my husband like I should have. He was getting my crumbs at the end of the day. Then I went to your website and watched your video about Affair proofing your marriage!!! Let’s just say our marriage has been on FIRE this week! And all because of you just following God and pouring your heart out to His people. I am forever grateful! Thank you! God Bless!”

“What a great weekend! Thank you so much for loving God and His Word like you do and bringing that to us.  You shower us with millions of jewels, invaluable treasures of truth.  I came home, as I know all the women did, with my own personal treasure box of “truth jewels” hand-picked by the Holy Spirit for me.  Thank you for that, for ministering to my soul and the souls of all our women. “(Pastor’s wife)

“I want to thank you very much for your book Lady in Waiting.  It was given to me while in college by a women I didn’t know very well at my parent’s church.  She told me the book changed her relationship with God so deeply that each year she prays asking God for the name of a young women He wants her to give a copy to.  That year it was me and it has shaped my walk with God ever since. “(L.A.)

“Just got two letters from a women’s prison in Texas where two girls wanted me to know that the women’s chaplain is taking the women through Lady in Waiting. They requested their own copies and Your Support allows me the freedom to mail books to prison!”
“Thank you so much for speaking at Hill Country Bible Church Women’s Retreat! It was my first but it was so impactful to my soul! I felt like God knew exactly what I needed to hear! I thank God for you and your husband for continuing to spread the gospel and make it plain as day for the women of today. Bless you!”

“Tonight I get to introduce some of our new ladies to you thru your forgiveness DVD. It is always an impactful time and I am excited to see what Papa will do in my friends! Just wanted you to know I appreciate you and am thankful we can partner together from afar! Love you! ” (Pastor’s Wife)

(Note: Your support allows us to have a website where a young woman can go and watch a Video on Affair Proofing Your Marriage or Listen to a Message on Sexual Abuse Recovery –  your support provided for the renovation and expansion of a ministry through our website.)

For two decades while Ken led Mission Trips all over the world, I would regularly put NOTES IN HIS SUITCASE to read while away from home. Last month our daughter Jessi went on a mission trip to Egypt and I decided to put together a note for each day she was away from her husband and children. As I began to write out a note for each day, I got the idea of including her dad, sister-in-law and a favorite Aunt. The opening remark to Aunt DeDe’s note to Jessi, rocked my world. I am going to share the whole note but I want to give emphasis to the profound opening sentence!

YES–just an ordinary little word used countless times during the course of a day, becomes extraordinary when spoken to the Father in obedience.

Ironically, Aunt DeDe had not seen any of the notes I had written. My first note to Jessi mentioned that every extraordinary event in my life was preceded by a ‘holy nudge’ and a ‘YES’ of obedience from me. When I got DeDe’s note I was stunned by the parallel encouragement for Jessi. An Ordinary Yes becomes Extraordinary because one of God’s kid’s said a ‘YES’ of obedience-‘Yes’ I will go to Egypt, ‘Yes’ I will push past the fear. ‘Yes’ I will leave the comforts of home for the unknown. Here is Aunt DeDe’s cheer of ‘Yes.’

Dear Jessi,
YES–just an ordinary little word used countless times during the course of a day; becomes extraordinary when spoken to the Father in obedience. I know God has extraordinary blessings in store for you as you serve the women in Egypt. I’m so proud of who you are in Jesus, and I want you to know I have been so blessed watching you grow into the woman God created you to be! My prayers go with you! “Our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.” Psalm 33:21
All my love,
Aunt Dede

Are you ready to take an ordinary ‘yes’ and transform it into extraordinary and finally do something that God has been nudging you to do? Are you ready to stop struggling with whether or not to say ‘yes’ to a ministry that you are suited for but you can’t imagine finding time for the transforming ‘yes’ of obedience?

In January the Lord nudged Jessi to say “Yes” to a mission trip to Egypt and her simple “Yes” became extraordinary as all the details of the trip came together and all the needs that she had were provided for-including her wonderful mother-in-love flying in to help Drew take care of the kids while she was in Egypt shining her light in the darkness. A simple “Yes” with an extraordinary outcome.

On January 6th of this year, John Smoltz was notified that he had made it into the Baseball Hall of Fame. John attended a Spring Training Bible Study we taught from 1992 through 2000. God allowed us to mentor John. When I heard the announcement, I wrote him a card and told him congratulations and I am praying that he would give God glory during his acceptance speech. On July 26th At the end of his speech, he mentioned another Hall of Fame, God’s Hall of Fame. He mentioned baseball players that had impacted him spiritually (Including Sid Bream-who was also in that Spring Training Bible study we taught) and then he said, there were those outside the game who reminded him that he was more than a Baseball player and called to shine for Jesus and then he said, “Jackie and Ken Kendall.” Well I was so shocked because that was a long time ago, but the seeds that were planted allowed an impact that has obviously continued and Ken and I got a ‘shout out’ during a Baseball Hall of Fame’ acceptance speech. I burst into tears because I feel like King David,

“who am I , Oh Lord God…that you brought me this far?”(I Chron. 17:16)

Shout Outs Continued:
Nice to hear Hall of Famer John Smoltz thank you and Ken (along w Sid Bream) for your spiritual impact on his life. Well done! (Pastor Doug Randlett)
I clapped & squealed when our Smoltz gave y’all a shout-out for aiding in his spiritual walk during his Hall of Fame speech. (Mindy)
Anyhow, I poked around online and saw they would rebroadcast the Hall of Fame induction. We just got done watching it. Wow oh wow. We both cried when he thanked you by name. To God be the glory!! (Tim & Deb Pico)
You are an influencer, friend, and I was telling Sandy Carter last night how thankful I am for the influence you have had in my life!! I’m so happy John acknowledged the influence you and Ken have had on him, too. Love you and am thankful to be journeying with you!  (Barb Cash)