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The Kingdom of God and Jr. High Girls

7 / 7 / 169 / 14 / 16

Recently a tragedy was wrapped in profound comfort and compassion through a group of Jr. High girls. When I was notified about the situation, I was so impacted that I wanted to share it with each of you. As I read the following email I kept hearing, “The Kingdom of God and Jr. High Girls.” (The following email is a summary of the tragic event).

“So, we had a real tragedy hit our community the other day when a 13 boy whom we have all known his whole life just collapsed and died on Sunday afternoon. They still don’t know the cause, but are doing an autopsy.

This happened after church in the church parking lot…and the details are quite stunning in themselves…including the little 10 yr. old girl who cradled his head in her lap while a 6 yr. old ran inside to find help. Little Josh died with precious Corina stroking his forehead and talking to him (she didn’t know he was dying).

We and everyone we know around here is connected to this family in 100 ways, and our home-school group of 200 kids have all had his mom as one of their tutors or drama directors and his siblings or him in classes and as friends…it’s a big web. You can imagine the reverberations of shock and grief.

young girl with dandelionI tell you this, Jackie, because a mom told me today that a group of girls who are friends with him and who are studying your book “Waiting for Your Prince” got together Tuesday and, in the midst of their own grief, wrote cards of encouragement to the tutors (moms who teach home school classes) who had him in their classes and to other kids in those classes. The mom said, “You know they thought to do this because of the book!” And I said, “Do you know that is about the MOST Jackie Kendall thing someone could do? Jackie is the Queen of the encouraging card! So there’s nothing more honoring to her teaching than their inclination to do that!” (One of those girls was Kelsey McLernon whom you acknowledge as our tween consultant on the book project, “Waiting for Your Prince”). In the midst of this extraordinary time–not least walking all these kids through this tragedy–this is another shining example of the Love of Jesus being spread as a result of your faithful teaching & wisdom Jacqueline Kendall”.  (Ruthie)

Encouragement is a gift that each one of us can give daily. It doesn’t have to be a written card, it can be a kind remark made over the phone or an uplifting text. May the example of these Jr. High girls be a simple reminder of the wisdom of being encouraging to others.

“…he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”(Prov. 11:25)

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The Kingdom of God and No Bozo

6 / 6 / 169 / 14 / 16

For more than 22 years I have been guiding God’s girls through difficult waters and your support made it possible. Because of you, I have been able to courageously tell single girls about choosing God’s best and avoiding a Bozo guy. Why is this so significant??? For a girl (young or older) the most significant choice of her life is her Master (Jesus). The second most significant choice is who will be her Mr. This may not seem like insignificant work in the range of Kingdom living but after walking with Jesus for 49 years I have seen the impact on women when they do not wait for God’s best and impatiently run into the arms of a Bozo. I have watched women who were once so useful in the Kingdom of God-sidelined by her relationship with Mr. Wrong. I have watched the fire in a precious woman, young and old, go from a blazing torch to a small little flickering candle because of the wind of a Bozo guy. I have watched too many singles lack the courage to break up with Mr. Wrong and wait for God’s best.

Lonely girl

Because of your support, you have helped these girls have the courage to say No to Mr. Wrong and cling to God for His best which is being fruitful in the kingdom of God. I have written so many letters to single girls, asking them to do the hard work of becoming whole on their own in Jesus and to not waste their singleness running through the forest of life hoping to find their Knight in Shining armor. One of these singles wrote this note to me last night:

Thank you. This is what I needed to hear. I broke it off with him tonight. It hurts so much but I know it’s the right thing. -Carrie

Your support has helped these girls make wise choices:

  • Carrie, Carla, Jennie, Busisiwe (S. Africa)
  • Mia, Mary-Elizabeth, Danielle
  • Kathy, Monica, Mindy
  • Emily, Lauren, Brooke, Sheila
  • Shannon, Kim, Valerie (Kosovo)
  • Tina, Teresa, Nancy
  • Michele, Patricia, Erin (British Columbia)
  • Melissa, Allie, Katrina (Australia)
  • Kristina, Beth, Adelle, Mahilet (Ethiopia)
  • Courtney, Susan, Caroline
  • Rita, Amber, Sherry, Yeoh
  • Liz, Ruth, Katherine and so many others.

(Whether Zimbabwe, Kosovo, Singapore, Philippines, Ethiopia, Indonesia or a 12 year old from Texas; your support has allowed me to mentor/disciple and exhort and endless list of God’s girls)

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The Kingdom of God at Walgreens

5 / 10 / 16

Stairway to heavenRecently Ken and I went to Walgreens the moment it opened in hopes of beating the rush at the pharmacy. We were thrilled to see our favorite pharmacist Amaka who was behind the counter. She was equally excited to see Ken and me. She has been fighting cancer and we have been praying for her. Her manner is always so loving and full of faith in God, never complaining about her struggle with cancer. Early this particular morning we noticed that she looked very thin and we both in concern whispered, “Is your treatment causing you to lose so much weight?” She motioned for us to come to a separate window and she leaned into us and whispered, “My 19 year old son just died.” We were so stunned that tears began to flow from all our eyes. Ken and I both grabbed her hands and started praying over her that moment. Because we came so early, no one was waiting in line, so we could comfort our sweet sister in Jesus right there in Walgreens pharmacy!

While driving home, the Holy Spirit nudged my heart to hurry into our house and print out a devotional I wrote to another momma whose son died. After getting the devotional printed, I ran for my refrigerator freezer where I had a loaf of homemade banana bread ready to give with the words of comfort. I put the goodies in a gift bag and ran back to Walgreens. When Amaka saw me, she smiled so big and I handed her the gift bag and she began to cry and said to the staff watching this God ordained moment-“God is so good to me!”

When I arrived back at the Kendall nest, Ken and I prayed again for Amaka and thanked the Lord for the privilege of being His comforting touch. As we held Amaka’s hands and prayed over her broken momma’s heart, we just knew that we were standing on holy ground at the counter at Walgreens pharmacy! We usually just use the drive through at Walgreens (it would have been hard to comfort from our car on an intercom) but that morning we walked inside and God had such a divine moment waiting for Ken, Amaka and I.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed by your name, Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done on earth (even Walgreens) as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:9,10

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A Spiritual Birthday Card

4 / 15 / 165 / 10 / 16

On April 15th I will be celebrating my 49th spiritual birthday. Recently while reading my new favorite devotional, I came upon a poem that was a perfect birthday card for my soul. Below is the heaven sent card for my heart.

“What did I bring to your salvation table? I had no righteousness to offer, no strength to give, no wisdom to present.
There was nothing that I could deliver that would commend me to you.
I crawled broken to your table weighed down and crippled by my sin, my guilt, my weakness, my foolishness, my pride, my shame.
I had no right to be with you, but you picked me up and placed me there.
You fed me the life-giving nutrients of grace with your nail-scarred hands.
And I haven’t left your table of mercy since.”

For this “emotional Mephibosheth” this poem just affirmed my position at the King’s table-having been lifted into my seat by the nail-scarred hands of Jesus. This poem came from “New Morning Mercies”, by Paul David Tripp-my new favorite devotional.

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Personal Maintenance vs Passionate Mission

3 / 4 / 165 / 10 / 16

By the third month of this New Year, is it too soon to maybe pause for a brief evaluation of the first quarter of this year? When you think about this first quarter, has your prayer life been focused on your ‘personal maintenance or passionate mission?’ That question was presented by our pastor. As I was jotting the question down, Dr. Bernie Cueto began to share an example of the difference between a Christian whose life is about ‘personal maintenance’ and a Christian whose life is about ‘passionate mission.’ I smiled when pastor began to use Dog and Cat Theology to explain the difference. I smiled because twelve years ago, one of our pastor’s best friends was visiting us and he was so enthusiastic about this ‘Dog and Cat Theology’ that he had just been learning about in seminary! ‘Dog and Cat Theology’ is a great allegory about two categories of believers. Some believers are more like dogs and some believers are more like cats. David Murphy started the explanation with a question. “When the master returns home, who is the first to run for the door, if a cat and a dog lives in the house?” Usually it is the dog. With dogs–it is all about the Master; whereas with cats it is all about the cat (who serves the cat). I got so excited about this illustration. During the last 38 years of knowing Jesus, I have seen such a distinction among believers.

Some Christians believe they are saved to serve God (Dog: it is all about the Master); whereas many Christians believe they are saved so God can serve them (Cat: it is all about the cat). These God-given traits of cats (‘you exist to serve me’) and dogs (‘I exist to serve you’) are often similar to the theological attitudes we have in our view of God and our relationship to Him.

cat-dog

So has the first quarter of this New Year been more about ‘being a cat’ and waiting on the staff of heaven to serve you? Or has this first quarter been more about ‘being a dog’ and looking to bring pleasure to the Master? I don’t type this casually-I am concerned that too much of the first quarter of this year has been about my ‘personal maintenance’ rather than being passionately on mission.

(Disclaimer: For all cat lovers…this is an illustration…not an indictment against precious felines.)

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An Emotional Mephibosheth

2 / 3 / 165 / 10 / 16

I could probably count on my ten fingers, the times I have been so discouraged that I cried myself to sleep. Recently, I walked into my room at 7:20pm and set on the side of my bed and began to cry and then I laid my head on my pillow and passed totally out. When I woke up two hours later, I walked into the living room and Ken said, “Are you okay? I saw that you fell asleep and I wasn’t sure if I should wake you.” Then Ken said, “you need to read an email that was sent to you tonight”! Here is what was waiting for this discouraged warrior of the cross.

Jackie I met you years ago (1995 or 96) when I was a young woman in college speaking with Great Hills Retreat Ministry. I am now 42 and I have listened to countless sermons, testimonies, and speakers. You stand out in my mind though. i-cant-cry-these-tears-anymoreIt is amazing to me how I remember not only your words but your facial expression, your tone of voice, your passion, as you spoke. I can remember almost verbatim some of your words of encouragement and your words still push me to love and worship even when my circumstances cause me to “feel” like wallowing in my own disappointments. I just want you to know that your life, your pain, your faith, has made a difference in the lives of so many people that you never even meet because you were willing to be honest, confront the pain, and worship through it. You were willing to be transparent and vulnerable and therefore you are relevant and remembered. Even though these days I forget what I did yesterday, I remember YOU. I remember your message. I sought your website out tonight because my 15 year old daughter just told me she will be doing a Lady In Waiting group Bible Study soon. My heart smiles to see my daughter about to benefit from your teaching the same way I did so many years ago. Blessings to you and your family and ministry. Thanks for pouring your heart and life out for others and for HIM. If you ever wonder what your impact is, know that it is greater than you can imagine. Thank you, Jennifer

God used Jennifer’s encouraging letter to open my heart to receive a precious word from Papa God. ‘Jackie, you are an Emotional Mephibosheth (II Sam. 9) who has been crippled since childhood but I invited you to eat at the King’s table.’ As I pondered my emotional crippling, I realized that daily for the last 48 years, though an Emotional Mephibosheth, I have had the privilege of sitting at the King’s Table listening to His Words of Hope (Psalm 119:92 and Isaiah 50:4). I actually got so excited about the fact that God’s strength is on display in the lives of the weak-like an Emotional Mephibosheth!

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Fall-Proof in the New Year

1 / 8 / 161 / 12 / 16

Fall-ProofMy first mentor Mamie Hinch taught me to pay close attention to the musings of people who are getting ready to exit planet earth. From this instruction I have always paid close attention to Jesus’ final remarks found in John chapter 14-17. I have also been very sensitive to the last books written by great lovers of Jesus! Today while reading a familiar passage in II Peter I realized that I was reading Peter’s pre-exit comments. Peter was reminding Christians of what they needed to be diligent about in order to “fall proof” their walk with the Lord. He even mentioned that he was repeating himself to assure that his fellow Christians would be diligent to add the following to their lives.

“Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness and godliness with brotherly affection and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”(II Peter 1:5-8)

As I re-read these qualities that make a Christian fit for the King, I found a little nugget just after the passage that stated that adding these qualities to your life results in “fall proof” living.

“Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities YOU WILL NEVER FALL.”
II Peter 1:10

Peter even intensifies his reminder with the comment that God had showed him that his ‘re-location to heaven’ was fast approaching. He admitted that he was not going to apologize for repeating himself to his spiritual siblings concerning the qualities that a Christian needs to develop to be fit for the King each day. How wonderful to consider that Peter, our brother in Christ, was seeing his earthly exit and wanted to encourage Christians everywhere with this holy reminder. I pray that my life in this New Year is a display of listening to Peter’s “fall proof” instruction.

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Especially for Women: The Recipe for Peace and Rest and the Importance of Surrender

12 / 10 / 1512 / 10 / 15

Junior God Badge 1

We see exhausted, frazzled women everywhere we go, especially at this time of year. Why are we all so exhausted so often? You may think of a thousand reasons, but I am convinced that the most common reason that all women from all walks of life are stressed out, and worn out is their propensity to try to be the Head Chick in Charge. Trying to be in charge in an out-of-control world inevitably leads to exhaustion.

On a woman’s best day, the illusion of control has her in a trance. For a brief moment, she feels “large and in charge,” and life is good. Her “Junior God Badge” is on—the counterfeit badge that all of us own and none of us earned. Wearing this controlling badge is as natural for a woman as breathing.

The controlling woman strives daily to perfect God-like qualities in her life. They may seem impressive, but they are ultimately a vain attempt to tame the untamable and to avoid suffering. This Junior God Badge owner is a woman who is a “wannabe deity.”

Junior God Badge 2

The first woman who thought she was smarter than God was Eve. Eve exchanged dependence on the Creator of the Universe for independence and a life of un-tamable chaos and heartache. Way to go, Eve! The serpent deceived Eve into thinking that control was better than dependence: “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5).

The Mother of the human race, Eve, was the original owner of the Junior God Badge; and like a good mama, she bequeathed us a precious family heirloom that has now been passed down from generation to generation. We females are all little Evettes. The DNA of a woman’s anxiety and her need to control is something we arrive with when we take our first breath.

Junior God Badge 3

Eve ate the forbidden fruit because she wanted to be more like God, and we are still eating that fruit today. For every owner of a Junior God Badge, wanting to be like God is the foundation for living. Daily, our lives declare our dependence or independence.

For the dependent woman, God’s grace is available. For the independent woman, it’s a different story. Unfortunately, the independent Junior God Badge wearer thinks she is Wonder Woman and that she can soar beyond the reach of human disappointment and suffering. This means that the independent, controlling woman is often not a candidate for the grace of God. Why is this? Because God only gives grace to the humble (who have been knocked down by circumstances) and He resists (keeps at a distance) the proud (see James 4:5–6).

Are you a grace-resistant woman? Or have you experienced the privilege of having an unimaginable capacity to face the unimaginable?

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Tie a Red Bow Around “Why God”

12 / 8 / 1512 / 10 / 15

This year has been jammed packed with people sighing deeply “why God.” So many people we love and serve have shared with us their “why God” moments and we have carried their pain. So often when I hear a person saying, “Why God” I am compelled to try and encourage this person to not doubt Papa’s love but cling to Him desperately. For too long, I have thought that “why God” was a moment of not trusting God or even being angry at God. I feel like God gave me an early Christmas gift when He showed me fresh insight on “why God.” The insight had a red bow tied around ‘why God.’

red-ribbonI read that in the Hebrew Scriptures you sometimes asked a question not because you expected a literal answer, but because a question was another way to express your feelings. When a Hebrew asked “why,” it was a “lamah.” It was a question that expressed the painful struggle in the heart of the Hebrew who said, ‘lamah.’ King David asked God why (Psalm 22:1), but he had never intended to take Him to task with that question. His “why” was a “lamah” and He was not asking the Lord to explain Himself. He was merely pouring his heart out to God. He was telling his Lord that he felt abandoned.

It occurred to me that the Lord must have cherished David’s simple lamah. It was the cry of a child, who not understanding, yet STILL CLUNG TO HIS FATHER. (Deut. 33:12). God saw David as a child with his face buried in the Father’s chest, crying and whispering lamah. No wonder God described David as a man after His own heart. David would utter his lamahs without indictment or finger pointing at God. A descendant of David would one day cry out a loud “why” on a cross (Matt. 27:46) and this “lamah” would be a most holy and righteous moment in the life of Emmanuel.

What a blessing to be reminded that my “lamah” is not necessarily a moment of sin, but a moment of sighing and expressing my grief over recent painful news. I am also reminded that the Holy Spirit is a “co-groan-er” with each of God’s children. He takes our lamahs and brings them to the Father (Romans 8:26) and the God of all Comfort responds to our lamah. Of course there are moments when a person’s lamah is flowing from great anger and a desire to indict Papa God. Today at church we heard such painful news about a dear sister in Christ. An immediate ‘why’ came to Ken and I and during worship we buried our faces in the Father’s chest in crying out “lamah” on behalf of our suffering sister!

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A Great Stocking Stuffer for Christmas 2015: “Surrender Your Junior God Badge” (Every Woman’s Battle with Control)

11 / 20 / 1512 / 10 / 15

This book has been 7 years in the making and it is finally here. So many of you have asked about my book on women and their struggle with control and I am thrilled to say, “She’s here!” Here is a little glimpse of the book:

Are you wearing a Junior God Badge? Before responding, “Absolutely not!” ask yourself the following question: “Are you T.I.R.E.D?”

TIRED of needing to control the lives of those you love

IRRITATED by the never ending list of things you feel responsible for

RESENTFUL for being labeled a “nag” or control freak

EXHAUSTED by the stress of an out-of-control world

DRAINED from trying to do everything yourself

In this book I share how I learned to rest and enjoy my life more, by trusting God to Surrender Your Junior God Badgemanage the world, without my “post-it-note” reminders. Surrender Your Junior God Badge exposes a woman’s need to control which is often rooted in fear, insecurity, and lack of self-esteem, which you can overcome. God doesn’t need our help to run the universe or to control our part of the world and the people in it. Any woman can exchange frustration and exhaustion for peace, joy and freedom…Surrender Your Junior God Badge today!

One of my favorite artists wrote about the book:

“I will be buying this book about control for myself and virtually EVERY woman I know. It should just be handed out at the hospital when a girl is born!”  (Susie Bettenhausen)

SURRENDER YOUR JUNIOR GOD BADGE is a “spa day” for the soul and this book is a gift that will keep on giving in the years ahead. I am already enjoying the holiday season because my “junior god-badge” is stored in my jewelry box! I confess that I have to consciously resist getting out my badge and helping God out with this untamable world!

Love from your wild woman,

Jackie Kendall

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